Mother of Three Dismissed Exhaustion as Parenthood—Then Faced Stage 4 Cancer at 28

“I figured this was just part of being a mom, and I wasn’t meant to feel great,” Kate Crawford shares with PEOPLE. Yet, 13 years after her diagnosis, she’s embracing life and advocating for funding and awareness.

Kate Crawford was drained. At 26, she was raising three children all under 3 years old, battling persistent headaches, stomach issues, and a sudden trip to the ER with sharp back pain. Doctors brushed it off, telling her, “That’s typical for a mother,” recalls Crawford, now 41.

But a self-exam raised red flags. At 28, she received a devastating Stage 4 cancer diagnosis, with doctors giving her less than two years to live.

In August, Crawford—previously a firefighter and EMT in Rostraver, Pennsylvania, before stepping away to focus on her kids—marked her 200th cancer treatment. She spoke with PEOPLE about her ongoing battle, highlighting her 13-year fight since the diagnosis and her dedication to creating memories with her children.

Kate’s journey to motherhood was fraught with hardship. Her first daughter, Shannon, passed away at three days old, an experience that shaped her. “Losing Shannon brought me face-to-face with death; she slipped away in my arms. It left me both fearful and fearless, all because of her,” she reflects. After Shannon’s death, she vowed that another loss would end her, but a miscarriage in her second trimester tested that resolve. Five months later, she learned she was expecting twin daughters, Grace and Lily.

When the twins came home, she marveled, “Finally, I’m a mom.” Her son, Stephen Jr., arrived prematurely at eight weeks, requiring seven therapies weekly and later diagnosed with a form of cerebral palsy. His birth involved major surgery, including a bladder repair and hysterectomy, leaving her juggling medical challenges with three toddlers under 3.

As her health declined, she attributed her symptoms—worsening pain and a lingering cough—to the chaos of motherhood. During a routine OB-GYN visit, she mentioned a strange breast sensation, fatigue, and back pain. The doctor’s concerned expression led to a mammogram, which revealed alarming findings. A compassionate doctor warned her, despite her young age, that a biopsy was urgent.

On her husband Steve’s 41st birthday, a nurse’s call confirmed breast cancer. “I couldn’t believe it was real,” she wept. A breast surgeon, probing further with Steve’s input about her symptoms, admitted her to the hospital. That night, the surgeon revealed the cancer had spread to her shoulder, ribs, liver, pelvis, spine, and both breasts—Stage 4.

Her first question was, “Will I die and leave my babies?” The surgeon promised to fight to prevent that.

Determined, Kate embraced any treatment with a chance of success, despite the grim prognosis. In 2013, at 28, she began chemotherapy, attending weekly for 18 months. Her focus was her children. “I thought it was a cruel joke—after all I’d endured to be a mom, this couldn’t be happening,” she said. She crafted a “Mommy bucket list” with her kids, including grand trips like Disney and Hawaii, and simple milestones like teaching them to read or seeing Stephen Jr. start kindergarten. These goals kept her anchored to a future with them.

Her community rallied, helping her check off the list. Before the twins’ kindergarten year—when she doubted she’d see high school—her district honored Grace, Lily, and Stephen as the first Prom Princesses and Prince, walking in the Grand March.

It was a bittersweet paradox, thriving with family while battling internally. Doctors predicted 18 to 24 months, but new treatments extended her life to 13 years by January. Each year, she assesses, “What if this is my last?” Knowing cancer will eventually claim her, she focuses on joy, not sorrow, wanting her kids to remember her effort and presence.

She shares her reality to combat isolation, noting her daily pain is invisible to strangers. In 2022, Stephen Jr. faced his own crisis with a brain tumor, mirroring her fight. Now 15, he’s stable, inspired by her resilience. The twins, Grace and Lily, are 17 and entering their senior year. Steve, a forensic detective, has been her unwavering support.

Last year, all three attended prom together, a milestone she never imagined. Recently, she walked in a Cancer Culture fashion show at New York Fashion Week, embracing her scars with bold makeup and a fierce attitude, making a powerful statement.

Now, she lives spontaneously, seizing opportunities without rigid plans, cherishing moments like driving with her kids or feeding her ducks. “This isn’t the life I pictured, but it’s beautiful,” she says, finding peace amid life’s unpredictability.